let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
