it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
