Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
