they need to just BURY HIM!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
