yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
