i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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