This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize