Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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