last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
