Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
