I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
