You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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