One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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