you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
