In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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