i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
