Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
