So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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