There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
