we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
