maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
