The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
