I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
