Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
