if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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