big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
