In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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