we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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