Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
