Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
well you can't waste a boner
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
