What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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