I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
