I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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