fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
