Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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