Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
