Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
