it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
