It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
