24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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