whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
