Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
