i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
