There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
