I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
