My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
