with your own penis?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
