1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
