did you get engaged???
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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