Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
