WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
